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Random Acts of Teamwork

Without teamwork, you wouldn't have ever been born. Outside of the bedroom, it is pretty important too. READ MORE

RoboDump v1.0

A horrible, never-ending bowel movement complete with straining grunts, horrific gas, splashes, and pee sounds. READ MORE

Loser In The House

OUTGOING PLUG

You see them everywhere, wide eyed crazy guys running around in pink shoes, jabbering away to themselves and shouting out random numbers. So picture that, and then imagine someone’s given one particularly twatty-twat chap a megaphone and permission to approach harmless female strangers in busy London town. READ MORE

Why Kay Jewelers Commercials are Ruining Christmas

"Every kiss begins with Kay." Wow, no shit... READ MORE

President Obama Sent Me a Drunk Text on New Year's Eve

If Obama understood the people, he'd understand that we're too drunk for a text message at this hour... READ MORE

22 Uncomfortable Album Covers

These album covers are so awkward that I actually felt uncomfortable looking at them. I want to know how desperate of a record label you have to be to actually sign these people. I'm going to go wash my hands with bleach and look at pictures of airbrushed women now. READ MORE

10 Cute Female Celebrities That Are Still Virgins

With sex being rampant in society today, and promiscuous individuals being far more common than celibate ones, I thought it would be smart and inspiring to put together a list of cute female celebrities that are still virgins. READ MORE

If I Can't Beat Off, Then The Terrorists Win

A new law was passed recently which officially banned masturbating on international flights. It’s a strangely specific piece of legislation, and normally I’d be content to just laugh at the fact that the government actually spent time and tax dollars on this benign subject, but they’re going to be classifying this action as a felony, so as an avid masturbator, I have to defend my civil liberties. The law was deemed “necessary,” because it dealt with “aspects of national security.” Another innocent pleasure lost because of Al Qaeda. Thanks a lot Islamic fundamentalists. READ MORE

Sorting Out Your Real Friends

You never know who your real friends are, so you mine as well track them down. READ MORE

6 Signs That You Might Be in an M. Night Shyamalan Movie

With the Shyamalan-produced Devil on its way to theatres, Evilchili is here to ponder a question that is obviously on everyone's mind: are we all in an M. Night Shyamalan movie right now? READ MORE

Are You A Racist?

I already know I'm not. I would have gone over there and helped the dumbass out. We could have split the profits so we could double team a midget stripper and check one thing off my bucket list. READ MORE

The Best Reporter Ever

I think every city needs a reporter like this. Can we clone him and just put him all around the country? READ MORE

Why Indie Culture is Ruining Everything

If you are an adult who is still trying to be cool, you have failed. READ MORE
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