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I Hope My Mom Doesn't Find This

OUTGOING PLUG

I got a twitter account. I swore to God I'd never do it but I was clogging up my Facebook feed like my toilet so here it is. Follow me, just not literally in public. I get enough of that already with the ongoing FBI investigation. READ MORE

Bizarre Celebrity Causes (Inspired by Bristol Palin)

Bristol Palin must not like her kid very much because she's now telling America's youths to not have sex before they are married. So hey, here's a list of some other celeb causes that make no sense. READ MORE

6 Funny License Plates

6 Funny License Plates READ MORE

Why The Giants Will Win The World Series

Watch at 3,000 frames per second courtesy of MLB.com as Hunter Pence hits the ball three times in one swing. READ MORE

13 Pumpkins Only A Nerd Will Understand

If you're a nerd, there is a good chance you'll enjoy these pumpkins. If not, well maybe you can figure it out. READ MORE

Is Lindsay Lohan Getting Hotter?

For a celebrity, life in the tabloids must be like a public, never-ending series of unflattering Facebook pictures that you can't untag. Are you a November '07 fan? Or maybe you prefer Lindsay's latest work: her July 2010 mugshot? Personally, my favorite is July 2007, because I like my bitches drunk and coked up outta their skulls! READ MORE

14 Cops You Could Easily Outrun

I had to run from the cops once. Apparently masturbating in the bushes outside a Victoria's Secret isn't deemed "socially acceptable" by the powers that be. I wish the cop had been severely overweight because I wouldn't have a criminal record and a police tail whenever I go near a mall. READ MORE

A Preview of Everything We're Not Looking Forward To

So many good movies coming out. But also a lot of bad ones. Let's talk about those. READ MORE

7 Ways To Get People To Actually Care About The Climate Change

Climate change: we’ve all heard of it. We know it’s bad. But one of the biggest problems facing scientists and environmental activists right now is getting people to actually care about climate change. In the face of the internet, iPods and airline fare cuts, it’s hard to give a crap about the possibility that some day the children of the children that we might have will be fighting for scraps of food in an overheated wasteland that even Wall-E wouldn’t know what to do with. Here I propose some practical solutions to put climate change on the map. READ MORE

Pug Sings The Batman Theme Song

This is what happens when you let your dog watch too many cartoons. Next thing you know, he's belting out the Batman theme song and humiliating you in front of girls you fantasize about having sexual intercourse with. Damn you pug, damn you! READ MORE

Pedestrian Horse Follows All The Rules

This may perhaps be the most well mannered horse I've ever personally witnessed. Can someone please donate a tophat to this horse? READ MORE

10 Defaced Bills

Some day all U.S. currency will be like this. "Hey man, I'll give you a Zombie Lincoln for a pizza. Cool?" READ MORE

President Obama Sent Me a Drunk Text on New Year's Eve

If Obama understood the people, he'd understand that we're too drunk for a text message at this hour... READ MORE
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