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Caterpillar Wants To End It All

OUTGOING PLUG

After an especially hard breakup, this caterpillar attempts to end his life. Suicide by frog is what scientists are calling it. READ MORE

15 Funny Drive-Thru Customers

A lot of people apparently try to get around the rule that you can't walk through the drive-thru... and a lot of them put a lot of effort into it. READ MORE

10 Safe Baby Pregnancy Tips

Having a child is a very overwhelming process which comes with lots of does and don't's. We think its very important to share these tips with you. READ MORE

An Awkward Boyfriend's Letter to Forever 21

Shedding light on a serious problem. READ MORE

Ever Just Felt Like Dancing?

This old man is dancing like he just got his d*ck up for the first time in a decade. If that is indeed the case, I'd probably dance like a moron too. READ MORE

Hot Head Banging Chick Bangs A Little Too Hard

OUTGOING PLUG

I've suffered 14 different concussions in my life time and now I'm stuck wearing a helmet and a reflective vest whenever I go out in public. I feel her pain on so many different levels. READ MORE

Mike "The Situation" Wants to be a Movie Star...

...and he sat down to talk about some of the film roles he would like to try out. Take a look at these and try to tell us they won't be classics. READ MORE

Hockey Player Gets A Surprise From A Fan

The common misconception that the only sports players who get laid are Ultimate Frisbee players is just that, a misconception. READ MORE

Zach Galifianakis Greeting Cards!

Zach Galifianakis has made a career out of finding himself niche roles. He is the best of the best at being fat, hairy and awkward. We at Evilchili say, why should he confine his talents to the big screen? Haven't we all felt that we could use the services of someone who is professionally fat, hairy and awkward? With this in mind, we present "Galifanakis Greetings." These customized greeting cards say all the things that you might want to say, but Zach Galifanakis will say much better. Enjoy! READ MORE

Becoming A Real Man Like Ron Swanson

I feel like the concept of manliness is slowly disintegrating. With the influx of skinny jeans, crappy pop music, and hipsters, we all need a strong dose of Ron Swanson. READ MORE

20 Kids Ruining Photos

Kids are good for two things, government benefits and ruining photographs. READ MORE

EvilChili Personal: Mildred Albertson

It’s that time again. Sure, it’s not quite spring and I haven’t started getting my random erections in the line at the grocery store, but love is still in the air. Today we’d like to feature this seductive bachelorette Mildred. Remember, just being a fan of EvilChili on Facebook makes you eligible! READ MORE

Some Things Your Teachers Never Told You

EvilChili has all the answers. READ MORE

If I Can't Beat Off, Then The Terrorists Win

A new law was passed recently which officially banned masturbating on international flights. It’s a strangely specific piece of legislation, and normally I’d be content to just laugh at the fact that the government actually spent time and tax dollars on this benign subject, but they’re going to be classifying this action as a felony, so as an avid masturbator, I have to defend my civil liberties. The law was deemed “necessary,” because it dealt with “aspects of national security.” Another innocent pleasure lost because of Al Qaeda. Thanks a lot Islamic fundamentalists. READ MORE
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