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EvilChili Personal: Mildred Albertson

It’s that time again. Sure, it’s not quite spring and I haven’t started getting my random erections in the line at the grocery store, but love is still in the air. Today we’d like to feature this seductive bachelorette Mildred. Remember, just being a fan of EvilChili on Facebook makes you eligible! READ MORE

This is Why You Always Log Out of Facebook

You might forget to leave your Facebook logged in somewhere public and later find that you have changed your sexual preferences rather drastically and may even be a different sex all together. That isn't as bad as this... READ MORE

Use A Visual Diagram

What sort of uptight jerk doesn't want his pregnant wife exposed to second-hand pot smoke? That kid is going to be such a buzzkill. The kind of buzzkill that goes around drawing pictures on people's doors. READ MORE

10 Cute Female Celebrities That Are Still Virgins

With sex being rampant in society today, and promiscuous individuals being far more common than celibate ones, I thought it would be smart and inspiring to put together a list of cute female celebrities that are still virgins. READ MORE

Celebrity Endorsed Products We'd Like to See

If you can't make a purchasing decision without a famous person telling you why it's a good idea, this list is for you. We've thought of a few items that would make great gifts this holiday season. READ MORE

I Will Never Be This Cool

No matter how hard I try, I don't think I could ever achieve such a high level of coolness. This guy is a genius. READ MORE

Living the Film Dream

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We all know that money grows on the money tree and dreams are made in the dream factory, but who are the people who run that dream factory? READ MORE

Eleven Baffling (Real) Children's Books

Sex, politics, and racism. Just another day in the children's section of the library. READ MORE

The End of Your Days of Privacy

I remember a time when a man could pull off to the side of the road and pick up two hookers without having to look over his shoulders for a car mounted with camera's. READ MORE

One of These Things Is Not Like The Others...

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I don't think a harpoon would work to take down this whale. We might need to get a cannon or at least a potato gun. READ MORE

12 Amazing Chest Hair Patterns

If you have a hideous amount of hair on your chest and back, you mine as well do something cool with it. Below are the 12 coolest patterns we could find. READ MORE

12 Trends That Should Stay In The '90's

There are certain hideous things that are better kept in the '90's. Some styles just need to die, and not be resurrected. Pass that information along to the hipsters. READ MORE

First Year of College: What You Need to Know to Stay Safe, Healthy, and Out of Prison

It’s July, the time of year when recent high school graduates from across the world take a monumental first-step towards being a full-fledged, honest-to-goodness college student, just like in TV and the movies. It’s the time when they attend Orientation. READ MORE

12 Insanely Distracted Drivers

Being a distracted driver is one dangerous thing. Next time you are out driving, remember there are people like this out there. READ MORE
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