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If You Like Dogs..

If you like dogs then you will like this. READ MORE

War Cry of the Grizzly Bear Father: EvilChili's Patented Parenting Tips

In response to Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, we tell you how to really make sure your kid succeeds and/or develops a severe emotional disorder. READ MORE

New Year’s Day Traditions Besides Searching for Your Other Damn Sock

As it turns out, the rest of the world can be just as weird as we are. READ MORE

The Most Depressing Places on Earth, Pt. 1

We list all of the places that make us sad. READ MORE

The Campus Socialite's Hot Girls in Body Paint!

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Our friends at The Campus Socialite combine women and art. Warning, NSFW. READ MORE

Chick Gets Offered A Free Punch

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...and immediately regrets it. One time I gave my friend offered me a free reach around when we were both in the drunk tank in Ocean City. I don't remember much after that. Heh. Seriously, though. READ MORE

Five Special Break Up Letters

Breaking up is no easy task. Whether you do it through text message, in person, or by slashing their tire and putting an ice pick through their windshield... READ MORE

A Few Short Messages Which Must Be Read

I feel like there are a few things which need to be addressed. Since the only people who use snail mail are either my ex-girlfriends with there "child support" or my Grandma with Alzheimer's sending Christmas cards once a month, they are delivered to you via the interweb. READ MORE

New Way To Meet Chicks: Dream Clubs

Forget golfing, sailing or Match.com. According to The New York Times, 32-year-old Lily Michaud, of Portland, Oreg., met her husband in a "dream club." READ MORE

5 Reality Television Stars Who Could be Pro Wrestlers

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Our friends at The Campus Socialite find Ronnie's true calling. READ MORE

The Iphone 4 & FaceTime: The End To Booty Calls?

We’ve all been there. It’s 3:45AM and you’ve just got done drinking a half a bottle of UV Blue and you’re starting to get the urge to bang the slightly husky girl you spotted in math class last semester and traded numbers with when you were both hammered at a Halloween party which you both went to alone because no one wants to hang out with someone who was caught masturbating in the public library. READ MORE

EvilChili's Tips for Graduates

Selling out and being the heir to a fortune are all important steps on the path to success. READ MORE

Will Someone Please Explain This Homeless Man's Sign To Me?

What does that mean? He gets lost in the dryer? You need two of Him to make a pair? He can be used as a puppet? He comes in crew-cut or no-show? He was scrunched in the '80s? He smells after a long day? You can pick Him up at Target? Only dorks wear Him with sandals? READ MORE

A Letter to the Dude Who Drives Slowly in the Left Lane

Please don't be this guy, because he is officially the worst. READ MORE
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