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Beer is Proof that God Loves Us. . .and Other Things Ben Franklin Never Said

We all know that Ben Franklin (probably never) said, "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." But you may not be familiar with some of these other observations he (definitely never) made. . .

"Whiskey is proof that all my exes are a bunch of bitches and I'm so much better off without them and don't you dare tell me I've had enough I'm Ben Franklin and I say when I've had enough you asshole."

"Tequila is proof that this right here is my jam, yo."

"Vodka is proof that no listen I promise you my roommate mixes this shit with warm green tea all the time these two things totally go together."

"Wine is proof that we should just say 'screw it' and go to sleep. Shit ain't worth it anymore. don't wake me up until the afternoon."

"Gin is proof that people will drink something that tastes exactly like an air freshener if you call it gin."

"Smirnoff Ice is proof that high school students love to lie about how drunk they are. Seriously I drank a six pack of these already, why do I feel more sober than before?"

"Rum is proof that being a pirate is awesome."

"Absinthe is sort of high proof."

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