I had to run from the cops once. Apparently masturbating in the bushes outside a Victoria's Secret isn't deemed "socially acceptable" by the powers that be. I wish the cop had been severely overweight because I wouldn't have a criminal record and a police tail whenever I go near a mall.
Undecided on which candidate you’re voting for this election? Chris Rock thinks pretty highly of one particular candidate — Barry Obama. During a two-minute spot on Jimmy Kimmel Live, the comedian lists all the reasons to vote for the “whitest” candidate.