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The Five Types of People Talking About ObamaCare

Obamacare. Everyone's talking about it these days, and it's time we joined the conversation. We tend to stray away from political topics here at EvilChili. Much like the Thanksgiving dinner table, EvilChili is a place where politics, religion, and sobriety are strictly prohibited. However, since this particular issue has sparked a degree of national conversation usually reserved for celebrity drug scandals and the NBA draft, we thought we'd break our rule and weigh in with some thoughts.

We're not here to defend or condemn the Supreme Court's decision. We want to make observations, but we don't want to imply any bias or try to sway our readership to one side of the issue. We'll leave that job to the, erm, "respected" news outlets out there. Instead, we want to take a look at the different types of people who have decided to take this opportunity to show off their knowledge of intricate political issues.

It's hilarious, mainly because most of these people don't know what they're talking about.

5. Outraged, Uninformed Conservatives

Anyone who thinks that all conservatives are out-of-touch and uneducated simply fails to understand how ridiculous such a generalization is. With that said, there are indeed some knee-jerk neocons out there who see any victory for the Obama administration as a further sign that the country is indeed going down the shitter. You know you're talking to one of them the moment the concept of Death Panels comes up in conversation. These are the ones who keep asking how Barack Obama ever got elected in the first place, proving to everyone that they know absolutely nothing about Barack Obama. If they did, they' be able to answer that question really easily.

4. Liberals Looking for a Fight

Most true liberals believe in peace and harmony. Then you get the ones who wear Che Guevara shirts and Guy Fawkes masks (not sure what instituting a Catholic theocracy has to do with the Occupy movement, but hey, there are worse ways to get your political philosophy than from a bad adaptation of a great comic. Wait, no, nevermind, there are not worse ways, except Fox News.) These are the ones who, upon discovering that ObamaCare was,for the most part, upheld, didn't celebrate this as a human rights victory. No, they celebrated the fact that now they'd have more reasons to mock conservatives and pick a fight. They rely on the most juvenile "us vs. them" mentality to make themselves feel like they're brave revolutionaries standing up for a cause.

3. The Neutral Ones

Not everyone in this country is political informed, and it is difficult to blame them. Between biased news networks and a two-party system that makes it easy to just stop caring, it is a genuine challenge to actually know what you're talking about, and it's much more admirable to admit to one's apathy than to pretend to know what you're talking about because you read one news source. But some people won't admit their apathy. They want to pretend to know what's going on, so they'll find a story about ObamaCare on some major news site and post it to their Facebook. They won't comment on it positively or negatively, they'll just let the world know they're trying to pay attention.

2. Pundits

Apparently, there was once a time when people reported the news without trying to up their ratings and circulation. That time is long gone. Instead, we get treated to a constant barrage of political theater meant to move us emotionally, but do nothing for us intellectually. And the public eats that shit up like a crack junkie looking for a fix. That's why fools like Glenn Beck somehow manage to actually have followers. It's a mad world, indeed.

1. People Who Actually Know What They're Talking About

They're out there, but much like Sasquatch or drug-free Dave Matthews fans, they're not easy to find. All we can do is encourage you to seek them out.

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