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Dating Tips From A Sensitive Guy

Whoever said the bad guys always get the girl was obviously wrong. I’ve been BEST friends with my bestie Lauren for over four years now. Since I’m clearly an expert in this field, I decided to write out some tips. Contrary to popular belief, life really is a lot like The Notebook.

Be There For Her After A Breakup
This I’d say is probably the most important part. Make sure that every two to three months when she inevitably breaks up with some complete jerk-wad-asshole, you’re there to let her cry on your shoulder and say why she wishes every guy could be like you. Make sure you don’t wear white, because her snot may or may not leave a yellow stain on your shoulder.

Always Pay For Her Dinner
You don’t have to be dating a girl to pay for her dinner. It’s called being chivalrous. Ever seen The Notebook?

Cuddling Cures All
After she has a long day, get ready for some cuddling action! If you’re lucky, she’ll fall asleep and you can dry hump her calves. Always keep a big cozy blanket in the trunk for emergencies.

Take Care of Her Drunk Ass
OMG! So Lauren tot’s had this bad breakup last weekend and went out with her ex-boyfriend and got completely trashed at the bars! I of course was outraged when I heard that sleaze-ball took her out, so I picked her up at 1AM to make sure that ass doesn’t try to take her home. When this inevitably happens, make sure you’re near your phone all night and keep a barfbag handy in the car. If she wants you to go out with her, of course make sure you pay for all her shots.

Drop Subtle Lines About You Two Dating
They say the best couples start as best friends. Right? That’s a line I used last week on Lauren, and she agreed with me right away. She said that if guys were more like me, it would be a perfect world.

Cockblock Because You’re Jealous
When you two go to the bars and she tells guys she’s your girlfriend, so that they don’t try hitting on her after her most recent breakup, it’s because she really likes you. So it’s your duty to keep all guys from taking her to the sack. They’d totally understand if they were in your shoes.

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