Thomas Edison died in 1931, so I can assure you that none of these utterly idiotic ideas came from him. This are the type of ideas you joke with your friends about when drunk but never actually take action on; unless you're really stupid and have a bunch of money left over from dead parents; parents who would have advised you against inventing something so dumb.
Whether or not I’m going to hell for what I write is no longer at question, it’s just whether or not I have to take the stairs or elevator down there at this point. Therefore, I’d like to pass along some wisdom on College parties. They’re a lot like the deodorant aisle at a Walmart. They reek of axe deodorant body spray, fat people, and stale beer.