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When You're Too Fat To Skateboard...

Posted on 6/5/2010 @ 4:54PM

Some of us just aren't "cut" out to be athletes. Whether its our height, race, or weight. For those of us out there who are struggling with one of these physical complications, don't fret. There's now a way you can pretend you actually have some talent other than being able to masturbate 12 1/2 times a day and spotting nipslips in Facebook pictures... it comes in the form of pretending your fingers are a nimble skateboarder. For those of us with too fat of fingers to manage to navigate the board, there's always suicide (preferably filling a bathtub with chocolate and then dropping a toaster in it (plugged in of course).

Now, sure if I was this kid I'd be more concerned with not being able to see my own dick, but you have to admit he does a DAMN good halfpipe grind.

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