CRATE NETWORK
Just when you thought the internet was starting to go more stale then the bag of popcorn you have left over from the latest Twilight movie, EvilChili.com came out revamped with more hilarious content, bloggers, and highly caffienated staff. With a long history of making people laugh, cry, and sometimes throw up since 2005... we're proud to bring you change. Except unlike Obama, people probably won't send us nearly as much hatemail. EvilChili.com was founded by a gentleman named Binny in 2005, in the bowels of Spain until it was acquired by Endurance Media.
People Who Consider Themselves Important
Aaron Altscher - President
Aaron helps head the EvilChili / Endurance Media enterprise and has a long career in business, including one season on the hit NBC television show, "The Apprentice". He now spends his days laughing at what the staff comes up with and hunting down Jamba Juice locations throughout the domestic US.
Andrew Lamers - CTO
From the ripe age of 13, Andrew has been programming and intaking high amounts of caffeine. He's the head of all development on the website and making sure everything doesn't go to hell. He also likes Heineken Beer and warm bath's lit only by candlelight.
Brian Weiss - COO
Having started his first website at the age of 11, Brian fulfilled the stereotype of a web site owner which holds true today. He enjoys eating Cheeto's and drinking energy drinks while sorting through content and managing the day to day operations of the website. Brian hates children and cats.
Editorial Staff
Joseph Oliveto - Executive Editor
A recent graduate who is using his hard earned degree to blog about pop culture. It was either that or working as a bartender, and the hours for this are a lot better. Although, beer is cool. We should grab a beer sometime. Metaphorically, of course. You probably won't meet me, so I doubt we will grab a beer together.
Bret Calvert - Writer
Bret Calvert is a freelance TV writer. He's put words in the mouth of comedians, actors, hosts and just about anyone else who appears on the small screen. Originally from Texas, he now resides in Hollywood and is still baffled by it daily. A small town storyteller lost in the big city. When he's not writing TV, he is most likely watching it. He's been described as a latch-key kid, a couch potato and a pain in the ass. He thinks that God himself created Dr.Pepper and could completely do without cilantro.
Julia Bond - Writer
Neuroscientist, comedian, ultimate frisbee legend, woman. Please don't confuse her with the other Julia Bond, who is a massively popular erotic entertainer. Julia enjoys living in New York, running, improv and craft beers. During college, she enraged the elderly population of Brunswick, Maine, with her "cutting edge" sex column.
Andre Speckert - Writer
Andre Speckert is a writer, artist, poet, lover, political dissident, chemical abuse enthusiast, Norwegian dick-fencing champion, and part time model. He is best known for his seminal work, "You are all idiots and I sincerely hope you die." He has a passion for omelettes and the preservation of Renaissance dildos. He prefers natural breasts and micro brews to the cheap fake stuff. He splits his time between New York City and the finest whorehouses Vienna has to offer.
Jason Gilbert - Writer
Jason Gilbert is the head writer and butt actor in the sketch comedy group Business Flannel. He likes pretentious movies and pretentious books; he hates pretentious dogs (you know the kind). Even though he's from Georgia, his favorite song is not "The Devil Went Down to Georgia." One day he hopes to own an all-flannel tuxedo.
Production Team
Spencer Shangkuan - Head of Production
Spencer has been working in film for over 10 years now and has traveled to such exotic places as Ghana and New Jersey. He is currently working on the first two original series for EvilChili, "America's Wingman" and "Fight Club".
