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A Preview of Everything We're Not Looking Forward To

So many good movies coming out. But also a lot of bad ones. Let's talk about those. READ MORE

Zach Galifianakis Greeting Cards!

Zach Galifianakis has made a career out of finding himself niche roles. He is the best of the best at being fat, hairy and awkward. We at Evilchili say, why should he confine his talents to the big screen? Haven't we all felt that we could use the services of someone who is professionally fat, hairy and awkward? With this in mind, we present "Galifanakis Greetings." These customized greeting cards say all the things that you might want to say, but Zach Galifanakis will say much better. Enjoy! READ MORE

How to Look Like a Smart Person on Facebook

Actually being smart involves too much effort. READ MORE

School Bans “Dirty Dancing” After Cleaning Bodily Fluids Off Floor

One Philadelphia area high school has banned “dirty dancing” due to “inappropriate touching” leading to the janitors having to “[clean] bodily fluids off the floor.” READ MORE

Ripping Ass Is No Joke

I remember a time when I could fart anywhere I wanted, and not fear the repercussions of authorities. I also remember a time when I couldn't. It was called NAZI GERMANY! READ MORE

The Five Stages of Drunk Texting an Ex

Phones are great. Drinking can be great. The combination of the two can be soul-crushing. READ MORE

The Worst Music Video You Will Ever See

There are somethings which you wish you never saw. Like the time my 95 year old neighbor walked around his front yard naked calling for his dog which died ten years ago. This is another one of those things. READ MORE

Then The Fight Started...

Smartass comments have an odd ability to really piss people off. Here are just a few examples of that very thing occurring. Careful, don't try any of those lines on your wife... READ MORE

Bro Friend Needed... Desperately

I'm a serious bro looking for a equally/more serious bro with fancy footwork. The idea is to tie our wrists together ala the "Beat It" video and then each JO/knife fight in a profound spiritual act of consensual hetero awesomeness. READ MORE

Facebook Status Updates That Need to Stop

Facebook gives us all a voice, but having a voice doesn't always mean you should use it. Here's a list of some of the most annoying Facebook status updates; please refrain from using them. READ MORE

If You Could Be Spiderman

OUTGOING PLUG

If you're a creative person, you can win your own Spider-Man adventure. Sounds pretty killer doesn't it? Check this out for more information. READ MORE

The Wisdom of Marky Mark

He has a lot of knowledge to share with the world. We made all of it up, of course. READ MORE

Never Say No To Panda

Saying no to Panda could be the biggest mistake you ever make. If you ever get offered Panda, you sure as sh*t better accept. If you don't believe me, this video will persuade you. READ MORE

Big Tennessee Weddin'

Now this is the definition of classy. READ MORE
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