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Dear 16-Year-Old Me

I bet you all wish you could go back in time and warn yourself of a few things. Take it from these people. READ MORE

The Five Types of People At The Gym

The gym brings a nice variety of people that you can make fun of. I did my best of summarizing them all. READ MORE

20 Hairstyles That Could Be Considered Child Abuse

Lets face it, our parents were assholes who got pleasure out of dressing us up like morons. Take a look through this gallery and see if maybe you can spot a kid who had the same haircut. READ MORE

If the Writer Behind Fortune Cookies Was Really Depressed...

Ever wondered who that guy was who thought up all of those fortune cookie pearls of wisdom? Ever wondered if he was horrible depressed? We did. READ MORE

Chris Rock Is Voting for the Whitest Candidate

Undecided on which candidate you’re voting for this election? Chris Rock thinks pretty highly of one particular candidate — Barry Obama. During a two-minute spot on Jimmy Kimmel Live, the comedian lists all the reasons to vote for the “whitest” candidate. READ MORE

An Open Letter To My Fellow Commuters

Commuting to work is the only American pastime that is more boring than baseball. That being said, let’s take a look at some of the ways in which you can more efficiently make my daily commute a pants-shitting nightmare, okay? READ MORE

The World's Worst Parents

Some people just aren't supposed to have kids. These are those people. READ MORE

The Secret Thoughts of Your Cat

Behind that cuteness lies a black, black heart. READ MORE

Fads That Have Faded

We can admit we all did some pretty stupid stuff to look cool while growing up. Whether it was sagging your pants, popping your collar, or flipping your visor upside down. Admit it, you did it. Here are some of the dumbest fads we have seen. READ MORE

The Kids Have It All Figured Out

I love watching child abuse that is widely accepted by American culture on tv. I'd get fat just to spite my mother if I was one of these kids. READ MORE

10 Hilarious Smartass Test Answers

Every teacher needs that one smartass student to keep her on her toes. Every EvilChili fan needs those teachers to submit their pictures to keep this joke alive! READ MORE

A Eulogy for Four Loko

We mourn the passing of a beverage that brought the world joy, then sadness, then a little more joy, then crushing depression, then temporary amnesia. All in the space of half an hour. READ MORE

Texts From Last Early Evening: Amish Edition

It's just like Texts From Last Night. Except with Amish people. READ MORE
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