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20 Kids Ruining Photos

Kids are good for two things, government benefits and ruining photographs. READ MORE

The Worst Moviegoers You Will Ever Run Into

You know what sucks about movie theaters? ANYONE can use them. Maybe we need to change that... READ MORE

Pressing Questions: Why Would Anyone Still Smoke a Pipe?

I won't tell you not to smoke. Just don't do it a certain way. READ MORE

The People You Meet on Election Day

Tomorrow is Election Day, and the same people that always show up will be back to vote for Comptroller. What the hell is a Comptroller, anyway? READ MORE

The Ten Stages of Getting in Shape

EvilChili has realistic fitness goals. READ MORE

12 Really Bad Tattoos

One thing that comes free with every tattoo purchase is lots of regret, whether it's immediate or 30 years later when you are trying to apply for a job. Nothing puts a glass ceiling on your own career like a neck tattoo. READ MORE

Dating Tip #14: Be Honest Up Front

Women value honesty in a relationship. I remember one time I had a girl convinced I was Batman so she wouldn't think it was weird that I sleep in an abandoned mineshaft on an old mattress. She broke it off because of my lying (at least that's what my Mom said). Anyway, take it after this guy if you ever want to get touched where you pee. READ MORE

13 Really Stupid Inventions

Thomas Edison died in 1931, so I can assure you that none of these utterly idiotic ideas came from him. This are the type of ideas you joke with your friends about when drunk but never actually take action on; unless you're really stupid and have a bunch of money left over from dead parents; parents who would have advised you against inventing something so dumb. READ MORE

Hurricane Sandy First World Edition

I said oh Lord Jesus it's a fire! Watch as Hurricane Sandy sweeps through a suburb and takes some trees down with it. READ MORE

The Inner Monologue of a Fish in a Tank

What are they really thinking? READ MORE

The Grad Student Translator

Because they are as confused by what they are saying as you are. Trust me. READ MORE

Guy Stuck In Elevator For 41 Hours

I got stuck in a closet a few weeks ago when I was playing with my toy soldiers. After about 30 minutes of wailing my roommate came to my rescue, so I sort of feel this guys pain... READ MORE

Tom Is Dead

TechCrunch is reporting that Tom — Myspace's founder and the perennial first friend for every new Myspace member — has finally given up on Myspace himself. Well, either "given up" or been forced out as part of a corporate shake-up. READ MORE

Easter Graphs Yo

Happy Easter eveyone. READ MORE
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