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I hate healthy cereals. Not because they’re full of life-elongating vitamins and fiber to keep you regular. Not because of my childish demeanor that dictates I’m not supposed to like things that are good for me. Not even because they taste like prison ass, but because they’re sold to you through false advertising. Allow me to explain. READ MORE

How Traffic Accidents Start

OUTGOING PLUG

It all begins a little bit like this... READ MORE

Why 'Teen Paranormal Romance' Needs to Stop

I'm just assuming these novels are awful. Not gonna actually read one. READ MORE

7 Odd Vending Machine Items

I often remark to myself, 'Gosh, if only there was a vending machine filled with these!' when I find myself in need of odd items, like eggs and used panties. Now... look no further! Coming to a dimly lit alley near you! READ MORE

Justin Bieber Has A Cool House

If you didn't already hate Justin Bieber, here are some pictures of his house which will make you despise him. It's not jealousy, just pure hate. READ MORE

Random Acts of Teamwork

Without teamwork, you wouldn't have ever been born. Outside of the bedroom, it is pretty important too. READ MORE

Godman Heals The Sick

A man in India is able to heal the sick, make banknotes out of thin air, and create holy water. READ MORE

Will Someone Please Explain This Homeless Man's Sign To Me?

What does that mean? He gets lost in the dryer? You need two of Him to make a pair? He can be used as a puppet? He comes in crew-cut or no-show? He was scrunched in the '80s? He smells after a long day? You can pick Him up at Target? Only dorks wear Him with sandals? READ MORE

Thoughts From My Bathtub Pt. 2

It's another one of those lonely nights. After three bottles of wine and a few Xanax and no turnout to my dramatic bible reading of Genesis I invited people to on Facebook; I decided to jot down a few thoughts. Read them and laugh. Don't worry, you're already going to hell for coming to this website. READ MORE

Is Lindsay Lohan Getting Hotter?

For a celebrity, life in the tabloids must be like a public, never-ending series of unflattering Facebook pictures that you can't untag. Are you a November '07 fan? Or maybe you prefer Lindsay's latest work: her July 2010 mugshot? Personally, my favorite is July 2007, because I like my bitches drunk and coked up outta their skulls! READ MORE

Bikini Faceplant For The Fail

OUTGOING PLUG

If there's one thing better than watching a witless moron inadvertantly inflicting large amounts of pain on themselves it's when the person in question is an attractive female. Specifically an attractive female wearing revealing swimwear. READ MORE

Justin Beiber Vs. Kurt Cobain

Apparently Justin Beiber feel's like he's the Kurt Cobain of his generation. Well, minus the drugs, manic-depression, suicidal thoughts, and good music. READ MORE

The Idiots of Yahoo Answers Emerge

It's time to celebrate some of the dumbest questions ever asked through yahoo answers. It scares me to know these people walk the earth. READ MORE
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