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The Secret To Old Age

The secret to old age is finally revealed by a 90+ year old actor! Looks like I'll be living a lot longer than I want to... READ MORE

9 Really Odd Greeting Cards

I think we can all agree that greeting cards are just the deterrent you encounter before actually getting the present you care about. We all know that awkward moment when you have to pass your gift card around the room for everyone to read. Imagine passing one of these. READ MORE

Bank Robbers Throw Cash Out Windows During High Speed Chase

A Volvo races through south LA with 25 cops in persuit. The suspect(s) begin throwing wads of money out the windows into the streets. "It's our neighborhood stimulus package!" resident Diane Dorsey told the Los Angeles Times. READ MORE

Happy Valentines Day From EvilChili

I believe you will find this card satisfactory for your Valentines Day. I prefer to tell everyone to enjoy their VD. READ MORE

How to Be a Sensitive Guitar Douchebag

Because who cares about the music, right? READ MORE

Megan Fox Appears In Eminems New Music Video

OUTGOING PLUG

I would totally have a messy relationship with Megan Fox. Even if it meant that she'd have to yell at me a lot and tell me that I'm not good enough for her. I mean, she already has "Brian" tattooed right by her cooter. I'm pretty much destined to be with her. READ MORE

Hurricane Horse Jogger

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. Luckily we all know that Sarah Jessica Parker is safe and sound. READ MORE

Five College Professors Everyone Has

If writing list-based comedy had taught me anything, it’s that deep down inside, all of us are equally horrible, with only minor differences to distinguish one person from another. Such is definitely the case with college professors, who, despite their intelligence (as indicated by those fancy letters after their names), tend to all fall under one of the following categories… READ MORE

Young Finance Professional Seeks Girlfriend - But Only For The Holidays

Let me be clear. I want a girlfriend. But, I don't really want a girlfriend. I just want one for the holidays. READ MORE

RoboDump v1.0

A horrible, never-ending bowel movement complete with straining grunts, horrific gas, splashes, and pee sounds. READ MORE

Elmo Responds to the Katy Perry Situation

Katy Perry's recently filmed appearance on Sesame Street has been pulled from the programming due to upset parents. EvilChili sat down with Elmo to discuss the situation, as well as his strategies for rising to stardom. READ MORE

Easter Graphs Yo

Happy Easter eveyone. READ MORE

Entire Facebook Staff Laughs As Man Tightens Privacy Settings

All 1,472 employees of Facebook, Inc. reportedly burst out in uncontrollable laughter Wednesday following Albuquerque resident Jason Herrick's attempts to protect his personal information from exploitation on the social-networking site. READ MORE
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