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EvilChili Personal: Duke Sir Baron Richard VonWitherspoon Spermingham the III

Welcome to my humble personal ad. My name is Duke Sir Baron Richard VonWitherspoon Spermingham the III. My friends call me Dick Sperm for short, though you will address me by my full name and title upon our first meeting. I am roughly 38 or 46 years old, but I’ve been told I have a youthful gaiety about me. Must be my face. READ MORE

Evilchili Teaches You How to Pull a Kanye!

Yes, you CAN be the center of attention! READ MORE

The Story of My Addiction to Energy Shots

Completely true, except for the parts that are not. READ MORE

Guy Stuck In Elevator For 41 Hours

I got stuck in a closet a few weeks ago when I was playing with my toy soldiers. After about 30 minutes of wailing my roommate came to my rescue, so I sort of feel this guys pain... READ MORE

11 Redneck Improvisations

Just because you don’t have exactly what you need for a job doesn’t mean you should quit. Square pegs, round holes, who gives a damn amirite? READ MORE

Why Kay Jewelers Commercials are Ruining Christmas

"Every kiss begins with Kay." Wow, no shit... READ MORE

A Shopping Cart Full of Hot Girls In Bikini's

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This video wouldn't be funny at all if they didn't tip over. Who likes seeing just plain old hot girls? Anyone? READ MORE

The Sexiest Themed Party Ever

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Looks like a real blast to me. They must have spent a lot to get all those condoms. I wonder if they're reselling them? READ MORE

How to Infiltrate the Hipster Subculture

Everyone is trying to be cool. At least everyone below the age of eighteen. Then there are hipsters, and if you really need to figure out how to be cool, just follow these steps... READ MORE

The Grad Student Translator

Because they are as confused by what they are saying as you are. Trust me. READ MORE

Zoe Saldana Is The Hottest Calvin Klein Model Ever

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While scouting the hot actresses on the red carpet for tonight's Emmy's (we'll have all the photos in the morning), we spotted a commercial starring Zoe Saldana for Calvin Klein's "Nothing to Hide" underwear. We're pretty sure the videos and photos and have been out for a while now, but it's the first we've seen of them, so we thought we'd share. READ MORE

Bizarre Celebrity Causes (Inspired by Bristol Palin)

Bristol Palin must not like her kid very much because she's now telling America's youths to not have sex before they are married. So hey, here's a list of some other celeb causes that make no sense. READ MORE

Pie Charts Explain It Best

There's some things words just can't explain. That's where pie charts come in. I'm getting hungry just talking about them. READ MORE

Drug Dealers Vs. Software Programmers

Drug Dealers: Refer to their clients as "users". Software Programmers: Refer to their clients as "users". Drug Dealers: "The first one's free!" Software Programmers: "Download a free trial version..." READ MORE
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