CRATE NETWORK
The Internet Sends Pitbull To Alaska
Honestly, being sent there would actually be a pretty nice vacation. I think he may have trolled the internet right back. READ MORE
Adorable Childrens Toy For Sale
Some fool on Craiglist is giving away this adorable doll for free. People just don't value priceless items like this anymore. Yesterday I caught my girlfriend trying to throw away her tampon. She should know better, 30 minutes in the wash and its as good as new. READ MORE
This Panda Can Dance Better Than You
I've been known to bust a move or two (or a load or two while dirty dancing), but I think we can all agree that this panda know's how to move his private parts suggestively. READ MORE
Pug Sings The Batman Theme Song
This is what happens when you let your dog watch too many cartoons. Next thing you know, he's belting out the Batman theme song and humiliating you in front of girls you fantasize about having sexual intercourse with. Damn you pug, damn you! READ MORE
Miss USA Is Smoking HotOUTGOING PLUG
In case you weren't already aware of it, you might want to check out how hot this broad is. I'd totally have an illegitimate child with her. READ MORE
A User's Guide To Boob TerminologyOUTGOING PLUG
There are thousands of different words for boobs, but how do you know what term is appropriate for the situation you're in? Luckily, we've spent a lot of time talking about boobs, and we've created a handy User's Guide to Boob Terminology to help you figure out what boob term to use in a given situation. READ MORE
Rap Represented Through Graphs
For those of us who have a hard time following rap songs, we have discovered some helpful graphs. These should make it a lot easier to follow along. READ MORE
Troubled Teens Get Scared Straight
If I was one of the inmates, I'd just talk about dropping the soap the the repercussions you reap because of it. READ MORE
Bro Friend Needed... Desperately
I'm a serious bro looking for a equally/more serious bro with fancy footwork. The idea is to tie our wrists together ala the "Beat It" video and then each JO/knife fight in a profound spiritual act of consensual hetero awesomeness. READ MORE
Pathetic First Day of School Pictures
Billy Madison once said, "Off to school, off to school, to prove to daddy that I'm not a fool". Luckily for him, his dad didn't insist on taking an awkward photo of him for his departure. Luckily for us, these parent's decided to. READ MORE
EvilChili Personal: Carl Schueler
EvilChili has been getting a lot of emails recently from fans that’re looking to date people of similar website interests (completely normal). We decided to start posting their listings to help them find the mate of their dreams. Even if their dreams involve drug mules and invasive airport security searches. Sidenote: everyone who is fans with EvilChili on Facebook is eligible. READ MORE
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